What is Direct Approach Dating Advice?

So … you are thinking about hiring a Professional Dating Coach huh?

What are the benefits? What criteria should I use to determine if I should hire one as well was which one I should hire? How do I distinguish the Dating Coaches who will genuinely help me improve my love life, sex life, and overall social life from the ones who are simply snake-oil salesmen and scam artists?


A Professional Dating Coach helps a man or woman improve various aspects of their love life, sex life, and interpersonal communication skills with members of the opposite sex in the same way a Professional Health & Fitness Trainer helps a man or woman develop better eating and nutritional habits as well as a higher degree of self-discipline as it relates to maintaining good, helpful exercise habits.

There are a number of men and women who offer advice to single heterosexual men in the areas of approaching a new female acquaintance of interest, initiating a conversation with her, and eventually creating some degree of romantic and/or sexual chemistry with that woman. Some people refer to this field as simply the “Dating Advice Industry” (which usually encompasses those who give advice to both men AND women), and those who primarily target single heterosexual men only are usually categorized as being a part of what is known as ‘The Attraction and Seduction Industry,’ or simply, ‘The Seduction Community.’

The main benefit of hiring a dating coach would be to help you identify the strengths and weaknesses of your conversations and social interactions with women of interest, and provide you with knowledge, wisdom, and general advice that will help you get women to look at you as a man who they would like to spend time with in a romantic and/or sexual manner as opposed to a man who they want nothing more from than purely platonic social companionship.


Over the last 15 to 20 years or so, you could basically divide all of the advice given to men in two general categories:

Those who endorse and promote a ‘direct’ interpersonal communication style with women, and those who endorse and promote a more ‘indirect’ means of communicating your desires, interests, and intentions to women.

Let’s say you were at a party or nightclub, and you identified a woman who you viewed as very physically attractive and sexually appealing. And let’s also say that your number one objective was to engage in some form of short-term and/or non-monogamous sex with this woman in the near future (e.g., one-night stand, weekend fling, Friends-with-Benefits type arrangement, etc.); What would be the very first thing that you would say to this woman? How quickly would you let this woman know what your specific desires, interests, and intentions are?

If you approached this woman, introduced yourself to her, and within the first few minutes of the conversation, you let this woman know in a very highly self-assured, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner that you find her attractive and sexy, and that you would like to share her company in a sexual manner in the near future, this would represent a ‘direct’ approach.

On the other hand, if you approached this same woman, introduced yourself to her, and then you proceeded to engage in ten minutes or more of flattering and entertaining ‘small talk’ (otherwise known in the Pickup Artist Community as ‘comfort and trust building’ conversation), and then toward the end of the conversation, you let it be known that you would like to get together with this woman for drinks, lunch, dinner, etc., this would be representative of an ‘indirect’ approach to connecting with women.


The vast majority of professional dating coaches, pickup artists, and other attraction and seduction advisors tend to favor more of an ‘indirect’ approach for communicating your romantic and sexual desires and interests to women. Why? Among other reasons, most men cannot handle egotistical ‘sting’ of abrupt or harsh rejection. If possible, most men want to avoid having their egos bruised by a woman’s rejection or negative reactions within the first three-to-five minutes of the first conversation. They want time to show this woman that they are a charming, charismatic, pleasant, polite, and overall ‘good’ human being.

The primary drawback to utilizing an indirect approach is that a man could conceivably engage in a conversation with a woman that lasts 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes or longer, only for that woman at the end of the conversation to reveal that she is married, engaged, or simply not interested in sharing that man’s company in any sort of romantic or sexual manner. Consequently, that man could end up wasting valuable time with a high number of different women who have no genuine interest in dating him or engaging in sexual activities with him.

Even worse, a man could find himself going out with a woman on three or four lunch dates and dinner & a movie dates, only to find out at the end of the third or fourth date that the woman has no interest in sharing his company other than as purely platonic friends. What if each of these ‘dates’ end up costing that man $35 – $100+ per date? After six to twelve months of this, that man could end up spending a lot of money on women who he will never end up allowing him to tongue-kiss them and/or exchanging orgasms with them.

At least when a man spends money on the services of a street prostitute, professional Call Girl, or upscale Erotic Escort, he is guaranteed to enjoy himself sexually at some point in the evening. With other women, men run the risk of spending money on women for nothing more than a ‘maybe.’ A man would be investing money in the possibility of sex rather than guaranteed sex.

When a man utilizes a direct approach with women, his chances of being rejected in an abrupt, and even harsh manner increase significantly. That man might also receive some degree of harsh criticism from women for being so ‘candid’ and ‘forward’ about his desire to have sex with her. That is the ‘bad’ news.


The advantage for men using a direct approach with women is that a man will never, ever end up investing a significant amount of time and/or money pursuing the companionship of women who want nothing from them other than to be flattered by the man, be entertained by the man, take advantage of the financial and non-financial ‘favors’ offered to them by the man (e.g. free meals, free movies, etc.), and then eventually find a way to ‘politely’ reject them.

Put it like this: If it was a forgone conclusion that a woman you were attracted to was inevitably going to reject you at some point in the future, would you want to find out about her lack of interest in you BEFORE you invest a significant amount of time and money in sharing her company? Or would you be willing to be rejected AFTER you have already spent $150 – $200 or more over the course of a few days or a few weeks? TIME and MONEY are VERY VALUABLE.


The truth is, the vast majority of professional dating coaches, seduction gurus, and pickup artists are afraid to endorse and exclusively promote a style of approaching women and conversing with women that is representative of the ‘direct’ approach.  Why?

Because many single heterosexual men are looking for a method of attracting women and seducing women that will not subject them to a) immediate and/or harsh rejection, b) harsh, subjective criticisms and personal insults from women, and/or c) adverse reactions and responses from women in general.

Over the last few years though, there are a number of professional dating coaches who are beginning to promote a ‘hybrid’ approach that proposes to be both ‘direct’ and ‘indirect’ with women of interest. The reality is, there is no such thing as being direct and indirect at the same time. At any given moment in time, a man is either communicating his sexual desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in an upfront, specific, and straight-to-the-point manner … or, he is being indirect. Either, or. There is no ‘combining’ of these two concepts.

Some of these dating coaches believe that if you approach a woman, and simply tell her straightforwardly how ‘beautiful’ she is and/or how ‘sexy’ she is, that this represents a ‘direct’ approach with women. In reality, complimenting a woman alone – even in a straightforward manner – does not make a man ‘direct’ with women. Just because you compliment a woman does not mean that this woman will know for a fact that you have an interest in engaging in sexual relations with her.

Here is when you know you are definitely utilizing a DIRECT APPROACH with a new female acquaintance:

  • Within the first few minutes after you approach a woman and initiate your first conversation with her, you let that woman know exactly WHY you approached her and initiated a conversation with her (and usually, it is because you found her attractive and sexy);
  • Within the first few minutes of your first conversation with a woman, you let the woman know that you ultimately want to engage in sexual relations with her – either in the near future or distant future (in other words, you let her know very emphatically that you have absolutely no interest in sharing her company in a ‘purely platonic’ manner);
  • If your specific objective is to engage in some form of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with the woman, you let the woman know that SPECIFICALLY and STRAIGHTFORWARDLY BEFORE you and the woman have sex for the first time; Not AFTERWARDS (some dating coaches will have you believe that if you wait until AFTER you have sex with a woman to let her know that you’re only interested in casual sex with her, that this is representative of being ‘direct’; Trust me … it is NOT)

Note: Any approach that does not include those three components above is NOT representative of a ‘direct’ approach (but many other dating coaches will try to lead you to believe otherwise)

Bottom Line?

The ‘indirect’ approach is generally for TWO TYPES OF MEN:  1) ‘Verbal Coward’ types and/or 2) Men who do not mind wasting both time and money pursuing the attention and companionship of women who will soon reveal that they have absolutely no genuine interest in sharing those men’s company in any sort of romantic and/or sexual manner

and/or a ONE-ON-ONE COACHING SESSION with Alan Roger Currie

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