Alpha vs. Beta Attributes: Examining the ‘Total Beta Male’


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Total Beta Male

Archetype Category:  Total Beta Male

More informal nicknames and alternative labels:  “Cuckold,” “Wimp,” “Trick,” “Chump,” “Loser,” “Spineless,” “Verbal Coward,” “White Knight,” “Incel (short for ‘Involuntarily Celibate’),” “Male Girlfriend

Brief description / General “M.O.”:  Men who fall into the ‘Total Beta Male’ category are men who were usually bullied (by classmates, siblings, parents, and others) when they were children, teenagers, and/or young adults, and throughout their adulthood these men have found it challenging to build up enough confidence to be outspoken and build up enough courage to stand up for themselves on a regular basis. More often than not, men in this category are either completely and indefinitely ignored by women of interest, or at minimum, women of interests relegate men in this category to ‘just friends only’ companions.

General ‘Beta’ Attributes that men in this category tend to possess (Black represents ‘primary’ attributes, Gray represents ‘optional’ traits):

  • Tends to optimistically ‘hope for’ positive outcomes and desirable results rather than confidently ‘expect’ them to happen
    (i.e., an average to less-than-average degree of personal confidence)
  • Possesses a very erratic degree of self-esteem
    (i.e., sometimes, he feels good about himself and what he has to offer … and other times, he feels like he is worthless)
  • Prefers to allow others to make important decisions and has no problem helping others achieve their goals
    (i.e., doesn’t mind being a ‘follower’ rather than a ‘leader’)
  • Enjoys very gentle, emotionally profound, monogamy-oriented sex rather than non-monogamous, no-strings-attached sex that involves no real emotional connection
    (i.e., would much prefer to be a woman’s ONLY male lover as opposed to her having multiple male lovers)
  • Is known to be very ‘thin-skinned’ and emotionally and/or egotistically sensitive in response to other people criticizing him or insulting him
    (i.e., possesses a very fragile, insecure ego)
  • Can be very agreeable, compromising, empathetic, and even doesn’t have a problem being subservient and acquiescent to others
    (i.e., doesn’t like ‘verbal confrontations’ with others, and is somewhat intimidated by men who he perceives as more masculine than him and/or more dominant than him)
  • Many times, will allow others to talk to him and/or treat him in a manner that is condescending, disrespectful, blatantly rude, or just downright disrespectful
    (i.e., doesn’t have enough strength of backbone to always stand up for himself)
  • Usually looks to fawn over others and play up to their egos
    (i.e., very flattering toward others and their appealing qualities)
  • Tends to be extremely careful and cautious with his speech and rarely criticizes or insults people directly to their face
    (i.e., always looks to converse with others in a very respectful and even deferential manner)
  • Generally tends to be very accommodating, forgiving, lenient, and financially generous with women
    (i.e., tends to place women on ‘pedestals,’ and genuinely cares about their financial well-being)
  • Loves to be very ‘talkative’ and social with other members of his own gender as well as women
    (i.e., loves to share entertaining anecdotes and biographical stories and does not mind accumulating a high number of purely platonic female friends)
  • Very much looks to avoid physical confrontations (e.g., fisticuffs fighting) with others and generally attempts to avoid engaging in any type of gun violence or other violence with others that involves weaponry
    (i.e., leans toward being a non-aggressive pacifist and hates people who are violent criminals and/or bullies)

General Commentary:  There are some men in society who often feel ‘invisible’ when in the company of desirable women.  These are men who are usually perceived by women as having virtually no Alpha male attributes or any masculine traits whatsoever.  The men who fall into this category are generally known as a Total Beta male type.

The men who fall into this category usually suffer from one of two major problems, if not both:  1)  men in this category were constantly picked on and bullied as a young boy, pre-teen, teenager, and/or young adult, and they never really were taught how to truly stand up for themselves on a consistent basis; 2)  men in this category were brainwashed at an early age to believe that all women (and particularly physically attractive women) are worthy of being adored and even worshiped, and should never be disparaged, criticized, or treated badly or unfairly by men.

As it relates to socially interacting with women, a Total Beta male is one who usually fawns over women, agrees with just about anything they say or any opinion they express, and always offers to be accommodating to women, helpful or financially supportive of women, and generally be at their beck and call.  Total Beta male types pretty much worship the ground that women walk on . . . until . . . they reach a point where they become bitter, sexually frustrated misogynists.

When a man who is a Total Beta male feels still hopeful of landing an attractive long-term girlfriend and future wife, they will do practically anything for female companionship.  These men will spend hours, days, weeks, months, and years flattering women, entertaining women, offering women financial favors, financial assistance, or financial support, and they will invest time hanging out with women socially (when the opportunity presents itself). Often, men in this category will allow themselves to become a woman’s ‘male gossip buddy’ and ’empathetic listening ear’ (i.e., a ‘male girlfriend’ or ’emotional tampon’) while listening to women of interest vent, whine and complain about the more Alpha male types who have left them feeling disappointed, frustrated, used, or heartbroken.

The problem arises when men enter into their thirties or forties, and begin to realize that their opportunities to spend time with women romantically and/or sexually tend to range somewhere between ‘almost never’ and ‘non-existent.’  This is when Total Beta male types “hit a wall.” This is when a Total Beta male type tends to move from a mindset of being a ‘fan’ of women to becoming a harsh critic and hater of women.  The men in this category experience some sort of ‘psychotic break,’ which causes their initial feelings of deep love and respect for women and worship of women to suddenly transform into profound feelings of anger, frustration, and misogynistic bitterness toward women.

When these men awaken to the fact that their only opportunity for female sexual companionship will more-than-likely come from street prostitutes, professional Call Girls, and upscale Erotic Escorts … and then they also realize that most of their orgasms have been produced by their right (or left) hand while masturbating to internet porn … then men in this archetype category become fueled with a desire for egotistical and emotional revenge toward women.  In a nutshell, Total Beta male types are the men most likely to go from being a woman’s best ally (e.g., a “male feminist”) to being a woman’s worst nightmare and adversary (e.g., a serial killer of women, a serial rapist of women, a misogynist willing to murder womanizers and the women who adore those womanizers before committing suicide, etc.).

Men in this category are dreadfully afraid of competing with a Total Alpha male type or an Alpha male with a few Beta traits for a woman’s romantic or sexual attention and companionship.  These men know they will be perceived as the less appealing of the three.  Men in this category even envy other men who qualify to be a Beta male with a few Alpha traits.  Total Beta male types tend to feel that men in the latter category can at least usually secure themselves a long-term girlfriend or wife if they have a successful career and a reasonably high income.  Men who are Total Beta males have problems securing long-term romantic companionship even when they are financially generous and gainfully employed.

When men who are Total Beta male types become angry at someone, they tend to initially internalize their anger and bitterness, which is never a good thing in the long-run.  Many men who go on to commit murder or murder-suicides are usually those who have a high degree of pent up anger and frustration that reaches a ‘boiling point,’ and ultimately, that hate and anger needs to be released.  In other words, a man who is a Total Beta male can seem like he is totally calm and rather reserved by friends, family, relatives, and members of the general public, and then … out of nowhere … this same man will commit some heinous act of violence against women, or he will attempt to harm both men and women together.

In terms of how men in this category verbally communicate with women, the vast majority of them tend to be what I refer to as a Mode Three Timid, which means that these men have not yet developed the confidence or courage to approach a woman, initiate a conversation with them, and let those women know of their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions.  If they do manage to engage in a few social interactions with women, they tend to be guilty of a lot of FunClubbing (i.e.,  where they ‘pretend’ to be content with an indefinite purely platonic friendship with a woman, when they know deep-down that they want to engage in a series of interactions with a woman that are more romantic and/or sexual in nature). As I already alluded to, in due time a Total Beta male type will make the transition from a Mode Three state of mind to more of a misogyny-based Mode Four mindset.

In wrapping up, the men in this category are the men that society should be the most concerned about.  This is where the vast majority of your blatant misogynist types are going to be bred from.  Men like this, if they are not monitored, are going to potentially commit a number of suicides or be involved in a high number of murder-and-then-suicide-later scenarios.  Some of the men from this archetype category are going to begin to lean toward raping women and date-raping them after getting a woman drunk or intentionally drugging them.  At bare minimum, men in this category will resign themselves to an indefinite lifestyle of internet porn and masturbation, or a life filled only with sexual interactions with street prostitutes, brothel sex workers, professional Call Girls, or upscale Erotic Escorts.  No heterosexual man on earth should relegate themselves to such a disappointing and frustrating lifestyle.

If you are a man who feels as though you have allowed yourself to drift into this archetype category, please contact me so we can assess where you are in terms of your beliefs and attitudes toward women, and how I can assist you in making some very necessary changes, modifications, and improvements to your behavior.

CLICK HERE to Examine the Total Alpha male

CLICK HERE to Examine the Alpha male with a few Beta traits

CLICK HERE to Examine the Beta male with a few Alpha traits

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