Alpha vs. Beta Attributes: Examining the ‘Total Alpha Male’


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Archetype Category:  Total Alpha Male

More informal nicknames and alternative labels:  “Egomaniac,” “Jerk,” “Control Freak,” “BDSM Top / Dom,” “Bad Boy,” “Gigolo,” “Pimp,” “Stud,” “Incorrigible Womanizer,” “Narcissist

Brief description / General “M.O.”:  Men who fall into the ‘Total Alpha Male’ category tend to usually have the easiest time seducing women into engaging in one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex, but also, they tend to have a challenging time connecting with women romantically for long-term monogamous relationships if those women are prudish and/or strictly monogamy-oriented.

General ‘Alpha’ Attributes that men in this category tend to possess (Black represents ‘primary’ attributes, Gray represents ‘optional’ traits):

  • Confident and self-assured in his speech and actions
    (i.e., doesn’t hesitate to take action toward the achievement of his goals and the accomplishment of his objectives, and usually expects a positive outcome and desirable results from his actions and behavior)
  • Above-average to exceptionally high degree of self-esteem
    (i.e., thinks very highly of himself and what he has to offer the world)
  • Strong desire to lead others in his professional and personal relationships
    (i.e., wants to be the final decision-maker for the most important issues facing a business relationship, platonic friendship, or romantic / sexual relationship)
  • Strong desire to erotically dominate sex partners
    (i.e., wants to totally dictate when sex happens, how frequently it happens, what sexual positions will be used, what their partner will do to please them and satisfy them, etc.)
  • Totally unfazed by and generally indifferent in response to other people’s subjective criticisms  or insults of himself and his behavior
    (i.e., could care less about the opinions and expectations of others)
  • An extremely low desire to compromise with others regarding his wants, needs, demands, and requests
    (i.e., he wants people to acquiesce to what he wants them to do rather than vice versa)
  • Does not allow other people to treat him in any sort of disrespectful and/or undesirable manner more than once, and definitely not more than twice
    (i.e., does not allow other people to bully him or exhibit behavior that is blatantly rude to him without that person facing some sort of repercussions or consequences)
  • Possesses a very boastful and/or extremely competitive ego
    (i.e., hates for rivals and adversaries to receive more attention, respect, and/or public recognition than himself)
  • Tends to express his thoughts and opinions in a blunt, outspoken manner
    (regardless of if he leaves other people’s egos bruised or feelings hurt)
  • Generally tends to lean more heavily toward promiscuous and/or polyamorous sexual tendencies rather than strictly monogamous sexual tendencies
    (i.e., tends to be more of a ‘player’ type and womanizer type rather than a ‘faithful husband’ or ‘faithful boyfriend’ type)
  • Frowns on conversations and social interactions with others that he deems ‘trivial,’ ‘unproductive,’ or a general waste of his time
    (i.e., doesn’t really care for ‘fluff talk’ and ‘small talk’ and social activities that primarily center on simply engaging in entertaining conversations with others)
  • Would be willing to fight, and kill if necessary, in order to protect himself, his family, his children, and other loved ones
    (i.e.,  very territorial when it comes to the physical safety of those he cares about)

General Commentary:  There are some men who are totally into what benefits them, and them only when it comes to their social interactions with others, and particularly, women.  This is the #1 trait of a man who can validly be referred to as a Total Alpha male type.

The primary strength of the Total Alpha male is that he genuinely could care less what other people think about him or his behavior.  His mind rarely even entertains thoughts related to how he is perceived by others.  In many, many ways, the Total Alpha male is ‘self-absorbed’ and even a bit narcissistic to a degree.

As it relates to socially interacting with women, a Total Alpha male rarely if ever looks to ‘fawn’ over women or play up to their egos.  If anything, a Total Alpha male type expects women to fawn over him and play up to his ego.

There are some attributes and traits in a man that are simultaneously frustrating to women and appealing & intriguing to women.  Total Alpha males, often referred to as ‘assholes,’ ‘jerks,’ and ‘bad boys,’ tend to have this trait going for them:  “Cocky indifference.”  In other words, men who are Total Alpha males are never afraid to lose the attention and companionship of one woman in particular.  Even though a Total Alpha male type loves the sexual companionship of women, he would rather go days, weeks, or months without female companionship at all rather than tolerate argumentative, disrespectful, spoiled, and/or undesirable behavior from women.  Total Alpha male types are men who want women’s attention and companionship, but they do not ever feel as though they desperately need women’s attention and companionship.  These men – for at least a short period of time – can grow accustomed to being very content with their own company (i.e., they can sometimes become voluntary ‘loners’ for a period of days, weeks, or months … progressively moving forward with their lives without the company of male friends or women).

Even though many women tend to often categorize Total Alpha male types as ‘control freaks’ and narcissists, a lot of women cannot help but be intrigued by a man who behaves in a manner that can be perceived as just as egotistical as women themselves, just as spoiled as women themselves, just as defiant and stubborn as women themselves, and just as vain, aloof, and enigmatic as women themselves.   Women often think to themselves, “This man must have something to offer to women (such as great sexual prowess) because he behaves as though he can get any woman he wants as well as he can do without any woman he wants.”  This type of ‘cocky indifferent’ attitude toward women tends to leave many women ‘curious’ and ‘intrigued,’ which enhances that man’s level of raw sex appeal in the eyes of the average woman.

When it comes to scoring casual sex from women – one-night stands, weekend flings, and other variations of short-term non-monogamous sex – Total Alpha males tend to be offered more than their fair share of opportunities to satisfy their sexual needs and urges with a wide variety of new and different female acquaintances.  Some women tend to foolishly believe that they can ‘change’ a Total Alpha male type into either an Alpha male with a few Beta traits or a Beta male with a few Alpha traits, and every now and then, a few women do succeed in that endeavor if and when they become the long-term girlfriend or wife of a Total Alpha male type.  The vast majority of the time though, women tend to end a long-term relationship or marriage with a Total Alpha male feeling very egotistically bruised and frustrated and/or emotionally heartbroken.

Sometimes, a man who is a Total Alpha male can find himself in a situation where his reputation for being an incorrigible womanizer can intimidate one or more women that he may be very, very interested in entering into a long-term romantic relationship with.  Most women who are vehemently against the idea of premarital sex and/or non-monogamous casual sex tend to shy away from interacting with a Total Alpha male type, which very often leaves the Total Alpha male type feeling very frustrated and even heartbroken (particularly if he is 35 years of age or older, and finds that he now wants to maintain a married lifestyle with a wife and children).

Many times women who are married, engaged, or those with a long-term romantic partner will choose a Total Alpha male type as their designated “casual lover-on-the-side.”  If this is the only role a Total Alpha male wants to fulfill, great.  But again, sometimes the Total Alpha male may end up wanting more from the woman who has already been snatched up, and the Total Alpha male can find himself yearning for a more emotionally profound, long-lasting relationship with a woman.

In wrapping up, I would say that if you are a man who loves to engage in casual sex with a wide variety of women, you have the self-discipline to keep your physique in reasonably good shape, and you want women to always talk to you and treat you with a high degree of respect, deference, and erotic submissiveness, this is the archetype to shoot for.  The vast majority of men who fall into this category tend to naturally communicate with women in a Mode One manner because men in this category simply do not care if others find them to be a bit ‘cocky’ and/or too candid and outspoken.

CLICK HERE to Examine the Alpha Male with a few Beta traits

CLICK HERE to Examine the Beta Male with a few Alpha traits

CLICK HERE to Examine the Total Beta male

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